If I Knew Then

My children are growing up fast. Technically, I now have two adult daughters and one teenage son. When I say “the kids” my mom creases her forehead, but she still calls me baby. As my second daughter’s graduation gets closer and closer, the reality of time passing by quickly is very clear. We’ve looked through pictures of memories from years ago that still feel like they just happened yesterday. 

Looking back makes me question as I look forward. Have I prepared them for what really matters? When the girls were younger I turned to other homeschooling moms and listened to advice about workload and curriculum. I wish we would have had more times like when our whole family got to go on this mission trip together, six years ago: 

Nailbenders Virginia mission trip 2012

As I work through lessons with my eighth grade son, I hear him when he questions “why do I have to do this? Will I ever really use this in life?” I push through spelling and math, knowing better than he does that it does have a purpose. But I question often if I’m truly guiding his heart as much as helping develop his mind. Teaching is a huge responsibility. With him, I question more. 

As I look back with the kids, school lessons aren’t what makes up my special memories. Watching (and chasing) fireflies in the dark and finding waterfalls make up some of my happy memories, things done outside of “schoolwork.” 

So while I don’t have it to do all over, I do still have four years of high school with my son. Unschooling isn’t our plan, but his high school won’t look like his sisters’ not just because he is different from them, but also because I’ve changed, too.

So dear homeschool mom, it’s alright to question. It’s alright to make changes. I know I still don’t have all of the answers. 

Dear Homeschool Mom  You are not alone.   {Homeschool Link UP}l


  1. I always enjoy reading your blog! I understand your thoughts and feelings in this post. ;) Our schooling has changed through the years (and how they do go by fast) for various reasons. Thankful for your encouragement! love ya!

    1. Dear Tanya, how did the years fly by? I love you and look forward to visiting with you again!

  2. I'm nearing the end of my homeschooling years, with my youngest graduating a year from now, and I'm still figuring things out and hoping I did a good enough job. This post is SO relatable.

    1. Right! Was I good enough? Only one more year for you!

  3. This is beautiful. And something I needed to read today as yesterday we spent the day playing, watching PBS, reading books, etc. Even though our two that we are homeschooling are quite little (2 and 4), I still worry every day that I am not preparing them. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Oh... it's so good to see growth in all people isn't it? To not be tied to no change.


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